And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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