ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
