Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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