and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
