I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
