we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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