I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My breasts were aching with rage.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
