it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
