i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
