it was like his penis was on wheels.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
