and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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