I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
