the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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