do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
