Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
