He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I didn't notice because vodka
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
