Non-Jews are for practice
she looked like the before picture.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
