Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
