Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
