You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
