she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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