Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
