roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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