You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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