ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
