It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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