"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She even gives head with a lisp.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
