I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
