i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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