I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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