I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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