The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
