every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
