i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
