i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
