it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
