He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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