i think my tv is drunk
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
