Betty ford says i'm here all night
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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