I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
