just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
