I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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