that's an acceptable place to lick
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
