i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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