you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
