she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
