The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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