Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
organizing the empties. That sober.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
