Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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