Nicole vs. Life
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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