It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
