Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
