i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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