I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize