elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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