You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
