he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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