not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
