i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
