I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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