Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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