I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
